


I'm Glad I didn't Die Before I Met You

by soft_bucky



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Cute, Fluff, HIV/AIDS, Harry and Nick are friends, Louis and Nick are also friends, M/M, Niall Liam and Zayn are mentioned but not actual characters, One Shot, Sad, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 22:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_bucky/pseuds/soft_bucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Louis is in the waiting room of his usual clinic and an attractive green eyed stranger comes in. He reunites with his friend Nick and later goes on a date with this stranger who becomes his boyfriend. But first he has to mention a not so minor detail before things get serious. He has AIDS. (Title is from a song.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Glad I didn't Die Before I Met You

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. Thought it was fitting to the story.

“Hi Lynn.” Louis says cheerily when he walks up to the front desk with his hands on the counter.

“Hey Lou. Dr. Marquez’ll be out in a few minutes.” She finishes with a perfectly whitened smile directed at the man and he returns it.

He takes a seat in the waiting room and flips through a magazine absently as he waits for his doctor to finish up with her current patient. In the middle of a trashy article about  _‘What happened to John and Aniston’s marriage?”_  that he just felt  _compelled_ to read (Not that he’ll tell anyone that), a really attractive man with green eyes and curly hair which was closer to wavy walked into the room. He goes up to Lynn and she directs him to the waiting room also. The stranger sat next to him and Louis looked at him; viewing him acceptable to talk to. 

Louis turns in his seat. “So why are you here?” He asks his seat partner.

The guy turns to him and says “Picking up a friend is all.”

Just then; a man with hair slightly similar to his, although it was tight coils and quiffed walks out. Seat partner stands and goes over to him.

“Nick?” Louis asks curiously but in a friendly manner.

“Oh hey Lou!” He greets excitedly. Louis waves and Nick speaks again. “I see you’ve met Harry here.” His thumb pokes to the side to gesture at the stranger he just met whose name happens to be Harry. Harry smiles closed lipped and looks at Louis (whose name he did not know yet.)

“Let’s go Haz.” He nods and waves once to Louis as they exit the building. 

Louis hasn’t seen Grimmy in at least two months since he went to another clinic than the one they both usually went to. Louis figures he’ll ask him about it if he sees him next week. Dr. Marquez came out of one of the examining rooms and beckoned Louis back with a warm smile. He got up and walked out of the almost empty waiting room and down the hall to an examining room. The entire duration, he thought of  _Harry’s_ eyes and hair and Harry in general. He was smitten.

 

~o~

 

The next week; Harry is actually in the waiting room reading the same, old slightly musty smelling magazine that Louis had in his hands a week ago. He takes a seat next to Harry. The man looks up and smiles when he sees the blue eyed male. The first thing he asks is what is Louis’ name.

Conversation comes easily and Louis is being called back before he knows it. In the hallway, Louis passes by Nick.

“Hi Louis.” Nick says on his way back to the front.

“Hey. So you’re coming back here now?” They stop and talk.

“Yeah. Went to a different clinic for a bit. But came back here.” He smiles crookedly.

Louis can tell that he’s starting to lose weight. But it’s never on purpose. And he’s dreading when that begins to happen to him. Wasting syndrome from HIV/AIDS doesn’t happen to every person who has it; but it happens to a lot. And either way; he’ll lose some weight towards the end. He wraps up their conversation quickly so he won’t be late and walks on in; trying not to think about anything in particular.

 

~o~

 

The next week, Harry asks him to go out for some coffee. Louis is delighted by the invitation so he gladly accepts. The date (and Louis was definitely going to call it that because the atmosphere felt date-y to him) went really good. Harry drank a vanilla mocha and Louis got a black coffee. He’s always liked the bitter taste and the way it sat on his tongue.

They got to know each other more and the tad awkward atmosphere faded away into happiness and friendship and…  _good._ Louis doesn’t think there is any other way to put it. Of course the explanation isn’t very eloquent but you know. Sometimes things don’t need complicated words and phrases to make them sound better. Sometimes the simple things are more beautiful. They exchange numbers at the end of the date.

 

~o~

 

On their fifth date which happened to be over dinner, Louis decides to tell him before things get too serious and he gets too attached where the feeling of loosing Harry would leave a gaping hole in his chest.

“Harry.”

“Yeah love?” He smiles at the man across the rounded table from him and Louis loves when Harry calls him love. It makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Almost like the feeling you get when you're unbelievably cold and you drink something warm. It just fills up your entire being with the comfortable warm feeling. 

“So uh, there isn’t an easy way to put this.” He takes a pause to put his thoughts together so he wouldn’t trip over his words. “I have AIDS." 

“I figured since you were at the clinic that Nick goes to.”

“But it’s not only for that?” Louis says curiously which sounds like a question but actually is a statement.

Harry chuckles. “I know.” After a brief pause, he says “But uh how’d you, y’know?”

“Get it?” Louis guesses and Harry nods. “Ah, my mum didn’t know she had it. And when she had me, I got it. Found out when I was 12.” (He’s about to turn 22.)

“Woah, sorry.” He’s apologizing because that’s what people do in these situations. Like when someone dies and they say ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’ kind of thing.

Louis scoffs with a smile. “No need to be. Things happen.”

They move on from the conversation after that.

 

~o~

 

By the time their 10th date rolls around, Harry asked him to be his boyfriend. They get to Louis’ flat and are heavily making out. When their tongues are in each other’s mouths and shirtless, Harry’s palm moves towards Louis’ belt. Unfortunately, Louis pulls away with his back against the pillows.

“I’m sorry. We can’t.”

A look of realization crosses Harry’s foggy and faintly alcohol ridden mind. “Shit Lou. I’m sorry.” Harry apologizes and moves closer to his now boyfriend.

“No I am. I mean I’ve never done this cause I couldn’t and I’m just like running on pure instinct and fuck. I just really want to be with you in that way; but it’s too much of a risk for you.”

“It’s alright Louis. I’m not mad or anything.” He whispers.

“But you should be! I mean how often do relationships last without sex? And I want you inside me and for me to be inside you, to do stuff but… ahhh!” Louis lets out a frustrated scream into the pillow and Harry just rubs up and down his back, pulls him closer, and murmurs sweet, calming nothings in his ear to calm him down and out of his frustrations.

 

~o~

 

They’ve been together for 8 months when Harry asks his mum if he can come up with his boyfriend to see his little sister. She agrees. Harry informs Louis just as he swallows his medication and he’s excited but nervous.

When the three of them are in the living room, with Harry and Lily drawing pictures, she asks Louis to draw a smiley face to match her paper littered with smiley faces.

Louis says “I’m sorry darling, I can’t draw a smiley face.” She pulls the puppy dog face and her eyes start watering (on purpose) so he sighs and says “I’ll try. Just cause you’re so adorable.” She giggles and he cracks a small smile. 

He tries, but his hand is wobbly the entire time. It cramps up so easily. The circle is squiggly around the edges and the smile looks more like a wobble lip except for one corner is upturned; even though he intends for both of them to be pointing up. But she appreciates it none the less. 

“It’s still really pretty Mr. Louis.” And it’s completely earnest.

“Lily. Louis and I are going to be in the kitchen. We’ll be back, okay?” Harry says in that tone that grownups use to talk to children and she nods.

When the kitchen door closes behind them, Harry is laughing.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you couldn’t draw one of those. Jeez Lou.”

“Harry, don’t laugh.” He says quietly. Harry gets his tone and is now concerned for his boyfriend.

“Why? You know I wasn’t seriously teasing, right?”

“Because of the AIDS,” He says in a hushed tone “I have encephalopathy. Things are like slightly fucked up in my head sometimes because of it and I hate it. You’ve seen when I could get forgetful or even random movement twitch things in my arms or hands. And I can’t even draw simple things. You know I used to love drawing? I used to sketch as often as I could before they found out I was sick. But now, I can’t even do a fucking smiley face. And you laughed at me.” Tears well up in Louis’ eyes but he refuses to cry.

Harry goes over to his boyfriend and wraps his arms around him. Louis buries his face in Harry’s chest and Harry’s breath fans out over the crown of Louis’ head.

“Shit Lou. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” Harry murmurs into his head apologetically. Guilt was flooding every fiber of his being.

“Jesus I’m so sorry.” He says once again and Louis pulls away with his hands on Harry’s arms.

“You didn’t know so I understand. But let’s get back out there yeah?” Louis weakly smiles but Harry could tell it wasn’t completely genuine.

 

~o~

 

They’ve been dating for 10 months when Nick passes away. They both attend the funeral and Louis wonders when that’ll be his fate.

 

~o~

 

A month later, Harry gets sick and Louis  ** _can’t_** be around him. He would definitely get sick and with his weakened immune system; that could be deadly. So as much as he doesn’t want to, he leaves their flat for a week until Harry calls and tells him that he’s better and made sure everything was disinfected.

 

~o~

 

They’re together for a year and three months when Louis begins to lose weight. Harry catches him crying one day and wraps his arms around Louis’ shoulders and delicate frame and kisses him on the lips. He doesn’t know why he was crying, but still comforts him.

 

~o~

 

It’s a year and five months when Louis’ hair changes from its usual brown to a dark brown and thins slightly. That happens sometimes to people with AIDS.

 

~o~

 

It’s a year and 7 months when Harry has to leave the flat for two days because Louis’ forgotten him. He comes back when Louis texts him about he’s so sorry and come back. Harry finds Louis curled up on the couch quietly crying. He lies next to him and holds him close and kisses him. He never ever blames Louis.

 

~o~

 

It’s two years and Louis is 24 when Louis has a seizure while Harry’s in the kitchen. He notices that something is wrong and picks up Louis’ thin body bridal style and gets in his car. He rushes to the ER and they pry him out of his arms, put him on a gurney and take him somewhere else.

Harry doesn’t care about the tears falling down his face. He calls Louis’ dad and tells him that he’s in the hospital. Then he calls his mum and tells her that Lou’s in the hospital and to bring Lily if she wants to. Next he calls Louis’ friends whom he’s met most of. He was closest to Liam and Zayn. Niall is the last person he calls since he’s met Louis before when Harry wanted him to meet him. They’re particularly close.

Everyone is there and it’s been four hours when the people are finally allowed back to see Louis. He’s in a hospital bed and has machines around him, wires attached to him, and an oxygen mask on his mouth. Harry lets everyone go first and then Louis brings his hand up and motions for Harry to come over.

“Hi Haz.” He says quietly after he pulls the mask off with a smile still on his face.

“Hi Lou. How are you?”

“Shitty.”

Harry laughs because he’s still smiling and Louis is glad that he caused it.

“Hey, why did the baboon look up to the giraffe and ask why the long face?” Harry has to strain his ears to hear Louis because his voice is so quiet.

“I dunno, why?”

“Because he thought his face was his neck.” Louis is smiling as if it’s the most clever thing he’s thought of and Harry can’t help but laugh because it’s so dumb that it’s funny.

“You tell horrible jokes, you know that?” And Louis nods.

“I’m ready you know.” He says after a pause with the smile sliding off his face.

“Mkay Lou. I love you and I’ll see you later, okay?” Harry says with tears welling up in his eyes.

Louis smiles and Harry kisses him on the mouth once more and on the forehead. He puts the oxygen mask on again and everyone files out of the room and shut the door.

That morning at 5 am, Harry gets a call from the hospital informing him of Louis' passing. He has to say that he doesn't regret staying.

**Author's Note:**

> I got kinda emotional writing this. Sorry about the possible bad ending?


End file.
